"Yes admittedly I am the best looking person of the whole lot", said Founder Arnold Parkinson, last interviewed in 1998 by MAD magazine.

"I'm into reading, boats, desert islands and a total dismantling of the IRS. Political influence, based upon massive donations to all sectors of government, is not the way to go for a small businessman like me. Sex is the better tool though I often prefer a good cup of tea and New Yorker magazine. Our basic strategy is to control the global distribution of Viagra subsitutes such as Marmite and whipped cream."

" Father may think he's cute--but I am adorable. How could it be otherwise with a name like Samantha?

I'm into fast cars, dancing, going to parties and having fun, period. Father keeps yattering on about him having to walk ten miles in snow to school in his bare feet but I no longer believe him. He freaks me out sometimes.

So if you're visiting DC and need a party--call me!"

" Don't tell the others but it is quite apparent that I am the best looker of the whole lot, even Mildred Entwistle said so.

I'm bogging off at college in Florida learning Robotic Engineering. My ambition is to develop an automatic fully transistorized beer dispenser in case I can't get up. I do need help by the way cleaning up my room.

Father told me he named me after Alexander the Great--well he did at least get that right. I'm a surfer from way back, play guitar and avoid all contact sports and associated Neanderthals."

"My name is Tillie and don't mess with me, the worlds best looking dog. I'm in charge of basic Headquarter Security in return for cheap dog food and inadequate sleeping arrangements. I hate postmen and people who try to steal my favorite bone. You included."